They are out having the time of their lives, and they didn’t invite me. They are on the dream vacation; one I’ll never get to go on. They are doing one of my bucket list adventures that I doubt I’ll ever do. Their children overachieve and are gorgeous. They are super fit and performing impressive athletic feats. Envy grips my heart, a bitter root taking hold and blossoming slow and hot, rising through the top of my head. The feeling of being left out, left behind, is more rapid, stabbing my heart and dropping fast through the bottom of my feet, dragging my joy and contentment down with it. 

 

While it may be trending more recently as a hashtag, Fear of Missing Out (#FoMO) anxiety has been around since those first humans rebelled against God because the serpent seduced them into thinking they were #MissingOut on the knowledge God possessed. The temptation to “be in the know” was too great to resist, and that fear led to the tear in Creation that has continued to fracture ever since.

 

FoMO is a legitimate psychological state marked by a “pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent” and an accompanying social anxiety “to stay continually connected with what others are doing”(1). It’s a fear “that one might miss an opportunity for social interaction, a novel experience, profitable investment or other satisfying events” (2).

 

There is a cure. The God who spun the universe in a single exhale, has gone all-in to offer us peace, love, joy and hope in all circumstances. Our Lord died that we might always be accompanied by His Spirit, and never ever be alone. Has anyone ever gone to such lengths to keep the rising heat and sinking joy from overtaking your heart? Have you ever received a better invitation? There is nothing more adventurous than following the One who has no home, sleeps under the stars, eats around campfires, drinks from streams, silences a storm, walks on water, summits mountains, and rocks the status quo. There is none more fun to hang out with than the one who can turn water into wine, brings friends back from the dead, and picks up the tab for thousands. There is nothing riskier than having dinner with the one who brings con artists, undocumented aliens, criminals, prostitutes and other despised characters to the table. There is nothing more dangerous than joining the target of smear campaigns, hit men, and corrupt politicians. This is the same One who urges us to be content with what we have, to be free from love of money, and remedies us from feeling left out and left behind through his promise of always being at our side (Hebrews 13:5). He is the only trustworthy friend in the promise that nothing can separate us from his love and presence in our lives (Romans 8:38-39).

Next time FoMO creeps in, remember that these eternal promises are more real, and infinitely better, than the window dressing of other people’s social media stories. Instead of #FoMO, let’s say #contented.

 

1. Przybylski, Andrew K.; Murayama, Kou; DeHaan, Cody R.; Gladwell, Valerie (July 2013). “Motivational, emotional, and behavioral correlates of fear of missing out”. Computers in Human Behavior.

 

2. Shea, Michael (27 July 2015). “Living with FoMO”. The Skinny. Retrieved 9 January 2016.

Painting by Sieger Köder.