The Giving Business

A few Sundays ago, a bedraggled, desperate-looking man entered our sanctuary as I was leading the congregation in the Call to Worship to begin the service. As I’m sure happens to other pastors, just as I’m leading the congregation, I’m simultaneously having a parallel conversation with God. As I’m speaking, I wonder who this man is, thinking he looks exactly like someone who could use an encounter with the love and grace of God. He was in the right place!  Still speaking from the pulpit, I try to love him with a glance of my eyes and silently will him into a seat. I pray that the congregation will wrap him up in love and give him a sense of belonging. Quietly in my spirit, I appraise the situation with God: who is this man, what’s his pain, what will be the best way to communicate love and compassion to him? Should I stop what I’m doing and address him directly? Will this church family embody radical Christian hospitality, one of our core values? As I wind down the call to worship with an “Amen,” he is still standing there at the back, center of the aisle, grappling and gripping his hat in nervous hands. His hair looks unwashed, his face haggard and weather-beaten. In an instant I know he is going to interrupt the service to speak. I’m still simultaneously assessing all angles of the scene, and it occurs to me he might be dangerous. In a split second, the Charleston and Texas church massacres run through my head. I plead with God to give me wisdom to do the right thing.

How do we deter a crime without treating him like a criminal, stave off danger without treating himlike he’s dangerous? Lord, how do we turn away threat without turning him away? After all, if Christ formed the Church for anyone, he did it for this man. Still suspended in that same split second, I give a barely perceptible nod to my husband and one of the ushers. I knew they would be prepared to make a Christ-like response while also protecting us from harm if needed. Then the man began to speak. Words tumbled out of his strained face as he recounted a stack of tragic circumstances including the death of his daughter the day before and a state of destitution that disallowed him and his wife from traveling home to be with family and plan the funeral. He was asking us to help him buy gas and other supplies they needed for the trip.

You need to know, I’m not naïve and I’m no stranger to people stopping on Sundays to ask for assistance. It’s a popular time for scamming because pastors are rushed and service needs to start on time, so people are more likely to be supplied with cash and sent on their way. My approach is always to first kindly welcome them to stay for worship so I can spend more time understanding their need after the service. They rarely, if ever, accept that invitation. So, still at the pulpit, I sensitively suggest the gentleman make himself comfortable and worship with us, let us pray for him, and address his need following the service. He declined by explaining his wife was in the car and she was in such a state that she was embarrassed to come into the church. At this point my church members got involved. Many of them spoke up and assured him they didn’t need to be ashamed, that they were loved here, by God and by them. This is when God sent me out of the pulpit down to the man. I knew we couldn’t talk him into staying, so I walked to him and asked him if we could pray for them right there on the spot. Other people left the pews and joined in laying-on hands and praying for the man and his family. Tears streamed down his face, and I could feel the power and love of God encircling us. I knew we were doing the right thing. After we prayed and loved on him, my husband and ushers went out with him to address his need. I would learn later that they gave him a fairly large offering for gas and food.

In the days following the event, as we reflected on it, I heard the ever-present skepticism that it was a scam, that they would spend the money on something else, probably something destructive like cigarettes, drugs or alcohol. This curiosity is natural, but it’s also one that those of us in the giving business have to talk about. Obviously, God calls us to be good stewards of the resources He’s given us, and to not enable irresponsible spending or perpetuate cycles of poverty and dysfunction. He wants our help to helpin the long run, not hurt. On the other hand, I believe he calls us to give without judgment and control of others. If we can’t, we shouldn’t be in the giving business to begin with. Jesus clearly gives us this example.

Even Jesus couldn’t or didn’t control how people used his help. Jesus healed people and asked them not to tell anyone about it, but they did anyway (Mark 1:41-45a). He cured lepers and all but one headed off without saying thanks (Luke 17:11-19). He gave himself fully to his disciples, yet he knew one of them would respond by having him arrested (Matthew 26:23-25). Also, Jesus didn’t sway to pressure from others to change his giving policy. His disciples tried to shield Jesus from feeding a hungry crowd, but he provided a feast instead (Matthew 14:13-16). Jesus was faithful to his mission, he never wavered from helping others, even if what they did with it was unpredictable. He commands us to do the same. Whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me” (Matthew 25:35-40). “Freely you have received; feely give” (Matthew 10:8). Hey, it may have even be Jesus himself that walked into our church that day.“

For further study (References are starting points, they are not exhaustive):

Two great books on how to offer assistance that helps and empowers: When Helping Hurts by Brian Fikkert and Steve Corbett;and Toxic Charity by Robert D. Lupton.

Mark 1:41-45a

Jesus was indignant. He reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cleansed. Jesus sent him away at once with a strong warning: “See that you don’t tell this to anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the sacrifices that Moses commanded for your cleansing, as a testimony to them.” Instead he went out and began to talk freely, spreading the news.

Luke 17:11-19

Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee.As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy[a] met him. They stood at a distanceand called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!” When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine?Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?”Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

Matthew 26:23-25

 Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.” Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi?” Jesus answered, “You have said so.”

Matthew 14:15-17

As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.” Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.” “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.

Matthew 25:35-40

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Matthew 10:6-8

Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel. As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give.

Picture: “Man Clutching Hat” by Rafael Coronel